B.Michael holds “concerned Israel” to account

A concerned Israel is loudly bashing its hands together: “Gevalt,” they are screaming at one another: “If the scheme of Levin and his rottweilers succeeds, then we will be like Poland! The same as Hungary! Oy, how will we hide our shame?”

If this is true, then we can calm down. The comparative research I conducted between these three aforementioned countries led to an unambiguous finding: Even if the no-rule-of-law gang wins, even if it realizes the justice minister’s entire dream – and all the judges in Israel will be members of the Likud Central Committee and rabbis of Otzma Yehudit – we will still not be like Poland or the same as Hungary. And that’s a shame. If only we were a bit more like them.

Here are some of the findings of my research, and we can start from the daily trifles: The study found that in both Poland and Hungary there is public transportation 365 days a year. On holidays, too, and also on the Sabbath. Interesting. It also turns out that in the hospitals in Poland – and in Hungary – eating bread is allowed 365 days a year. There is no obligation to bring hospitalized patients only dry rusks for an entire week. Truly interesting.

It also turns out that in Hungary – and in Poland, too – a Catholic can marry a Buddhist, a Jew may marry a Christian and a Muslim can wed a Zoroastrian, without the groom having to prove a part of his penis has been cut off, without prying into the bride’s mitochondrial genes and without needing a flight to Cyprus. Quite strange.

Here are a few more differences: Poland and Hungary do not operate a military dictatorship that rules over millions of people, steals their property, cheapens their lives and suffocates their vitality. In both countries, when one person shoots another person in the head – always, but always – a police investigation is opened, without any difference based on religion or nationality, and that’s already something quite bizarre.

Hungary and Poland are not ruled by a band of holy priests whom no one elected, and neither country has a legally operating parallel legal system – which does not have even a single female judge – whose guiding lights are misogyny and racism, and which is based on a system of laws born from a heavenly myth during the Bronze Age.

They don’t support with public funds tens of thousands of idlers who do not contribute or create anything – and they don’t spend enormous sums on maintaining nests of armed rioters who take their revenge on their neighbors to make their lives miserable and rob them.

In short, the attempt to argue that if the legal system here is castrated, we will become like Poland and Hungary is an empty pretension. Israel has a long way to go before it will be worthy of comparing itself to any country in Europe, even the worst of them.

True, in Poland and Hungary nationalist and dark leaders rule, and they are “illiberal democracies,” a phrase that is no less an oxymoron than “Jewish and democratic.” Maybe that is the only point of similarity between the three.

The only country in the region that Israel is suitable to be compared to is Iran. The similarity is almost amusing: Both are controlled by religious priests, shoot those who rise up without hesitation, operate according to a codex that is thousands of years old, and exclude women in a self-righteous and evil manner. And both lie about matters of nuclear fission. The similarity is so vivid that it is not at all clear over what they are fighting each other. They need to make a twin-state alliance, establish an entity to be called “Isran” and together bring forward the redemption.

And what will be with the “bomb?” No problem, between us and them there is enough for everyone – we’ll share.